I Died In My Bedroom

by Proud Ember

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labrontheowl
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labrontheowl Hey Alex you're great, I love this album and I look forward to what you'll produce in the future. ♡ Favorite track: if i was a bird id fly into the ceiling fan part 2.
mattyh
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mattyh Really like this so thought I'd give you a little something :) Favorite track: if i was a bird id fly into the ceiling fan part 2.
Peyton Beard
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Peyton Beard Best .69 I've ever spent in my life! WOW Favorite track: if i was a bird id fly into the ceiling fan part 2.
yojakers
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yojakers sad as fuck makes me want to die more than I already do Favorite track: milhouse.
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about

A very badly written ep which is the result of late nights, fat joints, feeling sad and far too many episodes of The Simpsons

credits

released January 27, 2017

Credits : Alex Edge (Recording, mixing and mastering) Elliot Wallet (sorting out the Milhouse samples) Mario (Sitting on a chair and kicking a plug socket) Daniel Reposar (for the amazing fucking artwork <3)

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license

all rights reserved

about

Proud Ember Coventry, UK

UK bedroom pop/lo-fi solo artist from Coventry, UK

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Track Name: if i was a bird id fly into the ceiling fan part 1
I know that im selfish, im useless, im fucked.
I cant hold a good thing, I hurt everyone i love.
Ive never made anyone proud, on my 18 years on this earth.
Its not like i ever tried i guess i get, what i deserve.

All my stupid habits, i could never learn to quit.
From late nights, to spliffs, to you.

Ill be a dead end kid, on a dead end street
in a council house barely on my feet

and thats if im lucky

You called me up at 5am
but that dont mean a thing
because of the powder thats been in your nose
and the way i fuck up things
ill smash my walls in, for the third time this week
because if im not good for you, im not good
for any fucking thing.

I never cared, for anyone else, ive always loved myself.
Track Name: milhouse
Well, im not good at most things i find.
I know theres not much sense in my mind.
I know i bother you all the time.
I just need a place to call mine.

Ill drive my fists into concrete
in hopes i can feel at home
i wish these thoughts made sense in anyones head
other than my own

other than my own

i have proven to be more of a problem
than a solution in every aspect of my life
to be less of an artist and more of a poet
trapped in a dumb persons mind
if i was to write down a list of things
ive achieved over the past few years
id be left with a piece of paper that read you

im nothing new, im nothing new
ill spend the next year in my room.
Figure out why im not good enough for you.

im nothing new, im nothing new
ill spend the next year in my room.
Figure out why im not good enough for you.
Track Name: [smoke]
we're sat in a room full of smoke
and ive come to the realisation im not good enough for you
i havent come close

ive been hoping that i choke,
on my rage when i fall asleep.

and next time when i die,
it'll be more than just a dream

365 days later and im sat in my room with an empty
packet of chesterfields i promised id save
and simpsons playing in the background
its not where i thought id be 5 years ago,
but its where i am.

since last year ive quit college twice
and wrote an ep about wanting to die.
but apart from that ive done nothing with my life.

all the cigarettes and spliffs ive smoked over the past year
still smash my fucking chest in, coughing up my lungs and spitting out blood
wondering if id grab any life changing opportunities if i could.
Or whether im intentionally nothing.

What if you were right? and i am nothing.
and im sick, of watching my knuckles bleed, fucking everything up
and not being what you need

What if you were right? and i am nothing.
and im sick, of watching my knuckles bleed, fucking everything up
and not being what you need
Track Name: i died
well id travel across the country,
if i thought id be back with you.
If i hadnt already died, in my bedroom.

Id get a better sense of person
id be who my mum wants to see
id care less about me.

I bet i never travel the country
i bet i never leave my room
i bet i never make anyone proud
with what i do

well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke

my phone-screen lights up and once again
im reminded that you are everything,
and i am the most pointless being in existence.
I wonder if being nothing is a bad thing,
whether theres anything wrong with smoking large amounts of weed
and passing time in my bedroom.
I find it hard to picture a God that doesnt love you
but there is so much wrong with you, that it doesnt add up.
ive come to the realisation if i have no feelings of love
towards the people im supposed to,
its probably because i dont.
Theres no amount of false ties to this city,
or bloodlines in my veins that can change the way i feel,
or maybe im just selfish.

maybe ill go home and ill be more than just a problem child
maybe ill go to uni and get a life
maybe ill move on and get some sense in my mind
maybe id be worth a second of your precious time.

well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke
well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke

I died in my bedroom.
Track Name: if i was a bird id fly into the ceiling fan part 2
You are everything, but you just dont know it yet.
Ill eat my fists, so i cant do anything wrong.

Do you cry to anyone?
Like you cried to me.
When we spoke about our future
and how we worry.

I havent slept in years,
and i cant breathe.
A smell of cigarettes
that never leaves.
theres 100 hundred billion people,
as good as me.

Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die