1. |
||||
|
I know that im selfish, im useless, im fucked.
I cant hold a good thing, I hurt everyone i love.
Ive never made anyone proud, on my 18 years on this earth.
Its not like i ever tried i guess i get, what i deserve.
All my stupid habits, i could never learn to quit.
From late nights, to spliffs, to you.
Ill be a dead end kid, on a dead end street
in a council house barely on my feet
and thats if im lucky
You called me up at 5am
but that dont mean a thing
because of the powder thats been in your nose
and the way i fuck up things
ill smash my walls in, for the third time this week
because if im not good for you, im not good
for any fucking thing.
I never cared, for anyone else, ive always loved myself.
|
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2. |
milhouse
04:03
|
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|
Well, im not good at most things i find.
I know theres not much sense in my mind.
I know i bother you all the time.
I just need a place to call mine.
Ill drive my fists into concrete
in hopes i can feel at home
i wish these thoughts made sense in anyones head
other than my own
other than my own
i have proven to be more of a problem
than a solution in every aspect of my life
to be less of an artist and more of a poet
trapped in a dumb persons mind
if i was to write down a list of things
ive achieved over the past few years
id be left with a piece of paper that read you
im nothing new, im nothing new
ill spend the next year in my room.
Figure out why im not good enough for you.
im nothing new, im nothing new
ill spend the next year in my room.
Figure out why im not good enough for you.
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3. |
[smoke]
02:58
|
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|
we're sat in a room full of smoke
and ive come to the realisation im not good enough for you
i havent come close
ive been hoping that i choke,
on my rage when i fall asleep.
and next time when i die,
it'll be more than just a dream
365 days later and im sat in my room with an empty
packet of chesterfields i promised id save
and simpsons playing in the background
its not where i thought id be 5 years ago,
but its where i am.
since last year ive quit college twice
and wrote an ep about wanting to die.
but apart from that ive done nothing with my life.
all the cigarettes and spliffs ive smoked over the past year
still smash my fucking chest in, coughing up my lungs and spitting out blood
wondering if id grab any life changing opportunities if i could.
Or whether im intentionally nothing.
What if you were right? and i am nothing.
and im sick, of watching my knuckles bleed, fucking everything up
and not being what you need
What if you were right? and i am nothing.
and im sick, of watching my knuckles bleed, fucking everything up
and not being what you need
|
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4. |
i died
03:58
|
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|
well id travel across the country,
if i thought id be back with you.
If i hadnt already died, in my bedroom.
Id get a better sense of person
id be who my mum wants to see
id care less about me.
I bet i never travel the country
i bet i never leave my room
i bet i never make anyone proud
with what i do
well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke
my phone-screen lights up and once again
im reminded that you are everything,
and i am the most pointless being in existence.
I wonder if being nothing is a bad thing,
whether theres anything wrong with smoking large amounts of weed
and passing time in my bedroom.
I find it hard to picture a God that doesnt love you
but there is so much wrong with you, that it doesnt add up.
ive come to the realisation if i have no feelings of love
towards the people im supposed to,
its probably because i dont.
Theres no amount of false ties to this city,
or bloodlines in my veins that can change the way i feel,
or maybe im just selfish.
maybe ill go home and ill be more than just a problem child
maybe ill go to uni and get a life
maybe ill move on and get some sense in my mind
maybe id be worth a second of your precious time.
well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke
well i died in my bedroom,
about 15 weeks ago, i caved in my skull,
while my brain was filled with smoke
I died in my bedroom.
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5. |
||||
|
You are everything, but you just dont know it yet.
Ill eat my fists, so i cant do anything wrong.
Do you cry to anyone?
Like you cried to me.
When we spoke about our future
and how we worry.
I havent slept in years,
and i cant breathe.
A smell of cigarettes
that never leaves.
theres 100 hundred billion people,
as good as me.
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
Ill be 19 soon but i just want to die
|
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Proud Ember recommends:
STUCK IN BIG RAPIDS
by Look Mom, I'm on TV!
Great music ^^^^^
go to albumIf you like Proud Ember, you may also like:
Don't Piss On Me, I'm Already Dead
by Crywank
supported by 15 fans who also own “I Died In My Bedroom”
My favourite song is ever changing but is my favourite crywank album :weary:
go to album
Tomorrow Is Nearly Yesterday And Everyday Is Stupid
by Crywank
supported by 15 fans who also own “I Died In My Bedroom”
this is my favorite album for when im sad and angry, or when i feel shit about myself. listening to it is a bad idea but i still recommend it
go to album
Narcissist On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown
by Crywank
supported by 13 fans who also own “I Died In My Bedroom”
she said that all ill ever be,,,,
go to album
Delicate, plangent singer-songwriter material that feels like its petals could fall at any moment.
go to album
Well Soon
by Walter Mitty and his Makeshift Orchestra
Summer sounds from San Luis Obispo just waiting for a backyard BBQ, mason jar cocktails, and fairy lights.
go to album
